thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
