i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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