I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
