Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
