You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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