I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
