my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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