I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
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she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
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let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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