The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Life is so much better after having sex.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
