he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
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As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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