and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
