Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
