I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
