I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
her vagine was all disorganized.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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