Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
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So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
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The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
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