I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
