He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize