dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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