just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
