epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
