i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
