No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
