You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i just had sex bonerless
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
