The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
