I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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