woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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