Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
