If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
