my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
