jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
