the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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