a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
