I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
