I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
