You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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