i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
