week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
