I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
