I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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