I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
it's like iHOP with fire
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
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