Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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