My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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