Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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