They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
