I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
