The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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