He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
"it" just moved
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
