how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
honey bunches of taint.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
