wakey wakey hands off snakey
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
