I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
