don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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