New low: just hacked my moms facebook
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
