Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Swine flu is the new snow day.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
