I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Randomize
