i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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