i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I fill condoms, not promises.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize