We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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