Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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