Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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