No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
