i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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