i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
