just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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