I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
