so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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